Random Stuff (or killing time at the UCEW)

*I recently began going to the gym again in an effort to reclaim what I can of my lung capacity since I've quit the cigs. One of the things that bothers me about the gym are the "Cardio Kings." These are the people who run/walk/step-machine/elliptical-machine for what seems like weeks at a time. There's one lady who hasn't been off a treadmill since I joined the gym last week. I drove by at night and this bitch was in there by herself, running on the treadmill by candlelight. I brought Cheryl with me the other day and discovered something frightening: she's one of them. After doing some weights, she went to run. She ran for like an hour. It was ridiculous. As we walked to the car, she says: "I didn't run as much as I wanted to." I nearly puked.

*Started reading "ordinary People" by Judith Guest yesterday. I've never seen the movie. The book, thus far, is OK; nothing earth-shattering. Any opinions?

*Denise Gravatt says she quit smoking. I'm posting this info so she can be held accountable.

*I like FAU's campus during the summer, though I suspect this is just because there's less people around. Also: I think the new College of Nursing building will very soon threaten to engulf the entire campus. The thing is fucking gimundous.

*I got the mom coming in town on Friday. I'll be sure to keep a sober ear tuned-in so I can replicate on this blog the hilarious things she'll randomly say, e.g.: "Scotty, honey, why don't you buy [insert household item you would never buy at the Dollar Store, like toilet paper] at the Dollar Store?" She'll also probably do 4,975 loads of laundry for no apparent reason. She will also, I predict, manage to insert a night-light into every possible outlet in our apartment. This woman is addicted to night-lights. But she's mom, so you love her anyway and just make fun of her on the blog.

*Got a phone call from my step-brother Chris's probation officer. We weren't home, so she left a message. I called back and said the following, pretty much verbatim: "Hi, this is Scott. I'm returning your call. You probably called about Christopher Walters. I haven't seen him for a few weeks. He charged a bunch of porn to my cable account and he's no longer living here. If you need any help finding him, call me back, I'm more than willing to help." I can't believe I'm fielding phone calls from a PO. I hope she calls back.

*Jessica Simpson is way too hot for Nick Lachey.

*How fantastic is it that Kevin and Britney will have their own reality series? Perhaps the only thing better than them having the show, is that it is on UPN. This is a can't miss hit.

*Will someone please find me a job?

*The last ever episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" is on tonight--thank God. If you've missed any, the show can be seen at pretty much anytime of the day on several networks, thanks to syndication. Why can't they bring back "Growing Pains" or "Family Ties"?

*Someone at the Legion has enlisted me to compose a letter of rebuttal to his motorcycle gang about the fact that they complained to him--via email-- that he wears shorts when they ride and, not only is this a safety issue, but it also erodes the gang's camaraderie because the rest of them wear blue jeans. I accepted the task because it's bound to be hilarious. If I turn up missing anytime soon, please contact the American Legion Riders, Delray chapter.